2018/5/25 17:14:00
专业翻译公司教你“文言文”中译英
专业翻译公司教你“文言文”中译英
看了那么多政府外宣类翻译,想来大家也学会了不少,今天咱们换换风格,来段古文翻译,测试一下自己多大能耐。
原文:吾辈凡夫,生存在功利社会,终日忙忙碌碌,为柴米油盐所困,酒色财气所惑,既有追求,又有烦恼,若想做到从心所欲,难矣哉!
乍一看,感觉好难,该从哪儿下手呢?有点找不着北的节奏。“柴米油盐”、“酒色财气”这是要翻译出各自对等的事物么?那么该怎么翻译呢?给你两个译文版本,你来选择哪个更牛:
译文一
It is hardly possible, if not impossible, for common folks to follow their mind while living in such a hectic, materialistic world where one struggles to meet subsistence needs while fighting off sensual temptations and deals with a perplexing mix of lofty aspirations and worldly distractions.
译文二
We ordinary people, living in a utilitarian-oriented society, rush about all day long, vexed by daily necessities like fuel, rice, cooking oil and salt, and tempted by cardinal vices such as wine, women, avarice and pride. What an immense difficulty to follow our hearts’ desire in the face of conflicts between pursuits and cares.
专家点评:
1. 该句第一眼看去似乎难以驾驭,但是如果抓到句子的核心信息,做到轻重有别就不难处理了。认真分析后会发现句子的核心是“吾辈凡夫在这个社会里想要做到从心所欲很难”,前面的信息都是说明功利社会的,属于事实背景部分,一般要放在从句或插入成分中。这样,分清主次后才能开始构思句子的搭建。
2. 行文时,“为......所困”和“为......所惑”这些词属于动词,可以隐去,从写作的高度重新组织行文;
“柴米油盐”和“酒色财气”属于中文具体词,英译时不能直接对等,需要进行提炼概括;
“既有追求又有烦恼”属于前后对比,在行文时尽量添加适当的形容词修饰以增强语感。
原文:可惜远行奔波间,车马劳顿,总是行色匆匆,山水的怡情悦目,都如过眼的云烟,只不过领略了一个大概,不能去探寻幽僻的妙境。
“圆形奔波”,“车马劳顿”,“行色匆匆”,“怡情悦目”,“过眼烟云”……一大波四字成语。先不说怎么翻译这些四字表达,想想这是什么逻辑关系,字字都要译么?先来看译文赏析:
大神译文:
Yet fatiguing/tiring/exhausting/ long-haul journeys basically mean that I can only get a sketchy picture/glimpse of enchanting/engrossing/inviting/engaging/amazing/arresting natural landscape that greets me along my way as I hurry along to attend to business, with little time left to explore remote, less spoiled serenity.
网友译文:
It is regretful that my rushing on the long journeys leaves me heavy with the fatigue of travel and unable to savor the soothing and pleasing landscape of mountains and waters. Their tranquil beauty fades away like floating clouds, leaving only a vague impression without the exploration of the secluded realm of beauty.
专家点评:
1. 这句的逻辑关系需要认真揣摩。句子大意或主体框架是“奔波劳顿使得我只能大概领略怡情的景色,匆匆忙忙而没有多少时间去探寻妙境”,这样C-C-E梳理后句子自然就容易处理了。
2. 行文时,“远行奔波、车马劳顿”属于同义重复,减译为“fatiguing journeys”,添加“mean”表示原因;
“过眼的云烟”和“只能领略大概”属于同义重复,减译为“get a sketchy glimpse of”;
“行色匆匆”通过“as”连接表示理由,“hurry along to attend to business”急匆匆去公干,最后添加“with”补充说明造成的后果。